Never Meant to Call Her Name
by always-a-time
Summary: Draco Malfoy never meant to call Hermione Granger's name. But he did, and his decision would haunt him for the rest of his life. DMHG One-shot.
1. Part One: First Year

Draco Malfoy had never meant to. He hadn't meant to be there, at that time, he hadn't meant any of it, not really. He had been wandering the hallways, just having slipped away from the group of Slytherins headed to the dungeon Common Rooms. Winding turn after winding turn. He didn't have a death wish, but he was, in fact, searching for that monster troll everyone was so afraid of.

Draco wasn't stupid, he knew that he couldn't take that bloody mountain troll on by himself. But maybe, maybe if he found it, and told Professor Snape , he d be rewarded with House points. Then he could show off infront of Parkinson, who was constantly flaunting herself all over him. He snorted, turning past another corner quickly, without thinking.

A foul smell suddenly filled his nostrils, and Draco choked on it. Merlin, what was that stench? "Eurgh. That smells." He muttered, rubbing his teary eyes on his robe sleeve. Suddenly, there was a sound. Draco felt himself jump. But it was not the sound of a full-grown mountain troll, as he had suspected, but the sob of none other than Hermione Granger. The sound was coming from the girl's bathroom.

Why would Granger be crying in the lavatory, didn't she know there was a mountain troll on the loose? Then it occurred to him. He hadn't seen her at dinner, she must not have known. He tentatively peeked his head in.

"Granger?" He called quietly, not wanting to startle her, or the nearby troll. The sobbing stopped abruptly, and he heard the sound of a nose being wiped on a sleeve.

"G-go away!" Granger called, mustering up as much courage as she could. Bloody Gryffindors.

"You've got to come out, alright! Its its not safe!" he said.

The sobs returned, and Draco couldn't help but crinkle his nose up in disgust. Women, bloody emotion creatures, said his father. "No one cares about me anyways! I'm j-just a know-it-all I'm stuck up and annoying. Go ahead and laugh at me."

Draco couldn't think of anything to say to that. He picked on her, and others picked on her too. But that was part of making them all feel bad, as if he wasn't as smart as she was, and that made him stupid? She deserved it, didn't she, being a brilliant muggle-born like she was.

"Well?" Hermione's miserable voice pierced something inside him, though.

"Come out Hermione," he said. "I won't laugh, I promise."

The door creaked open a tad, but suddenly there was a loud crash from outside. It must be the mountain troll, Draco thought, it had to be.

"Herm- Granger! We've got to get out of here, the mountain troll, there's a troll on the loose, we've got to get out!" he cried, glancing fearfully towards the door. The sounds grew louder, and his heart began to pound. "Come on!" He pleaded with her, but she was silent.

"Go," she finally said, voice sounding more confident, "Go, you ll get in trouble if they catch you."

Draco hesitated, "But , but what about you."

"I'll be fine." It seemed that the words had hurt her. Draco looked back at the door, then back at the open stall.

The decision he made next would haunt him for the rest of his life.

"Good bye, Hermione." He whispered, before turning tail and running out of the room, tears welling in his eyes. He quickly wiped them away. Boys weren't supposed to cry, he told himself, Malfoy men weren't supposed to cry.


	2. Part Two: Sixth Year

"Don't cry. It'll be okay," said the low croon of Moaning Myrtle.

"It's not okay. Myrtle, I'm so close, so close. What- what if it doesn't work?" Draco shivered, splashing the cool water onto his face. "What if he kills them, Myrtle! WHAT THEN?" His thin shoulders shook, and Draco Malfoy collapsed in a sobbing heap onto the ground.

"He'll kill them. I-I can't. What he's asking me to do, Merlin!" he sobbed, as Myrtle continued to make soothing sounds, as if Draco was a baby. "C-can't."

He glanced up at his reflection. Gaunt and pale, his once handsome face was wrought with stress. Sweaty blonde hair plastered to his forehead, tired grey eyes.

Something caught his attention in the background. Myrtle noticed first.

"Oh it's you," Myrtle said with some distaste. "Why don't you just leave? It's not your lavatory!"

But the mess of bushy brown hair only had eyes for him. "Draco," she said, brown eyes wide with concern.

Draco looked at her. Pointed at the door. "Get out, Granger. Go running to Potter," he said bitterly.

She didn't really care about him, why should she? All Draco had ever done was cause her pain. Calling her a Mudblood, laughing at her front teeth.

Not always, he reminded himself. That one time in the girl's loo. But Hermione didn't know it was him.

"Are you alright?" came the voice again, tentative, pressing. Bloody hell, she sounded like she cared.

"I'm fine," he snapped, avoiding her gaze, both in person and in the reflection.

"He wants you to leave," pouted Myrtle. "GET OUT!"

Hermione - no, Granger ignored Myrtle. Mustn't think of her as Hermione, Draco told himself firmly. But he couldn't help but picture the first year, bushy-haired know-it-all.

"You're not fine. You- you need help," she said, voice shaky. Of course he needed help, damn it! But who could help him?

"No one can help me, Granger. You of all people should know that."

"It doesn't have to be like that," she approached him, he heard her soft footfalls on the wet ground.

"LEAVE!" cried Myrtle again.

"SHUT UP!" Draco said, snapping his head up to glare at her. He would never admit, but he took some comfort in Granger thinking he was worth a damn. That he could be good, like he could have some chance at redemption.

Myrtle gave a cry of outraged terror, and flew to her toilet to cry. The stall door slammed loudly and the sound rung his ears.

He glanced up at Hermione. Her normally unmanageable hair was tied back into a unmanageable ponytail. Granger's expression was one of fear and sadness. She knelt down a few feet away from him.

Draco thought she looked nice. Not pretty, or attractive, just nice. Hermione's brown eyes watched his grey ones. "You're better than that. You're not e-evil!" She stuttered over the word.

He couldn't help but laugh, "It doesn't matter, does it? I have to do it either way." He had no choice, no other options.

"Do what?" Her voice shook, Draco could hear her thoughts. She wanted to tell on him. It couldn't happen, but Draco desperately wanted it to. To be dragged away from the mess his parents had gotten him into.

"Can't tell you all my secrets, can I, Granger?"

"..." The only sounds was Granger's soft breath. He wondered briefly if he was imagining his pounding heartbeat. "We can help you, Draco."

"You don't get it. You just can't understand," Draco cried out, fist clenched. "You're the brightest witch of your year, but you'll never know what I'm going through. I can't, I'm Draco Malfoy and I just can't bloody do this, alright? This is so much bigger, Hermione. Who do you think I am?" He was tormented. His soul in tatters from the foul acts he had committed this year. Weasley, that Bell girl. He had never wanted to kill them, hadn't meant to hurt them.

Hermione stood up, the hem of her robes soaked. "Draco."

"Don't," he said, "go, they'll catch you." Draco repeated those words she spoke to him all those years ago.

He didn't watch, didn't look up to see her reaction. Hermione wobbled on the spot for a moment, swaying to the left. "It was you."

"Yes, Granger. Now leave. Go before ..." his voice trailed off. Before he reached for her, before he called her name again. There was a period of silence before Hermione spoke once more.

"I ... alright," she whispered, "Goodbye Draco."

"Hermione." Draco called her name one last time into the empty room and then she was gone.

END. 


End file.
